


Drawings To The One I Love

by bgrimmpitch



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Drawings, Fluff and Angst, Fluffy Ending, I Guess It's A Good Thing Nathaniel Is So Stubborn, Light Angst, M/M, Marc Is Way Too Insecure
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-18
Updated: 2018-11-18
Packaged: 2019-08-25 04:17:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,473
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16654096
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bgrimmpitch/pseuds/bgrimmpitch
Summary: After turning into the Reverser and being saved by Ladybug and Chat Noir, Marc Anciel starts to avoid Nathaniel at all costs. The latter, feeling regrettful for what he did, loses his ability to draw as new feelings begin to appear whenever he thinks of the boy he hurt. But maybe, just maybe, Nathaniel Kurtzberg can still fix things by doing what he does best: drawing.





	Drawings To The One I Love

Nathaniel couldn't stop thinking about Marc. In his messy black hair, in his bright green eyes, in the way he smiled. He found it strange, though. Why would he have his mind full of thoughts about the socially awkward writer when he could be drawing Ladybug? Why bother with someone he had just met? He sighed, scratching one of his sketches. As much as he tried to convince himself otherwise, the truth was that he regretted what he did. Weeks ago, he thought he had finally found a writer who could bring his drawings to life through their words. And if the writer was Marinette, it would be the perfect opportunity to spend more time with her. Maybe their relationship would even develop into something more.

The notebook she showed him, however, had Marc Anciel as its owner, an anxious-looking boy who Marinette introduced him to. Before he even noticed, his disappointment made him throw the stories to the ground. Nathaniel knew it was wrong, he hated it when other people did it to his drawings — when they rejected a part of him and treated his talent like trash. But even so, he did the same to him. He denied Marc and his amazing writing, only because he wasn't who he expected him to be. It was his own fault someone as pure as him turned into The Reverser. He put Marc, Ladybug, Chat Noir and the whole city in danger for not being prepared to accept the fact things wouldn't always go the way he wished them to. After that incident, he lost his ability to draw. How could he do it when he didn't even know for certain what he was feeling? 

He wanted to apologize, to admit he made a mistake. But that was the easy part, the side of himself he understood. His other side, the one which unabled him of his talents as an artist, was more complicated. That side didn't want to apologize or acknowledge his mistakes. He wanted to hug Marc, to run his hands through his hair, to watch him as he blushed. The side of himself he didn't comprehend already gave up on his little crush for Marinette, and was completely intoxicated by the writer's shyness. Nathaniel rubbed his face. How did he fall in love in such a short time? They barely knew each other. The only thing he knew was that he could write so beautifully it almost seemed like magic. 

Similar to what he did, Marc was able to put down his own feelings and opinions, through words and expressions which gave life to his stories. He could create characters so realistically he felt like he could touch them. And that, among others, made his admiration turn into something much deeper. Biting his lip, he crumpled a paper on which he drew and tossed it into the hair, exhausted. An "ouch" echoed through the room and the redhead abruptly turned to his left, only to watch Marinette rub her forehead and pick up the paper to unwrap it. 

"Is this... Marc?" Her eyes widened in surprise when she saw the boy portrayed a thousand times in different angles. "Have you been watching him lately?"

"Well, yeah." He responded. "Watching him is the only thing I can do now, since he's avoiding me." He didn't like how it sounded. It kind of made him look like a stalker. 

"I'm sure everything will work out for both of you." She tried to comfort him, but it only made it worse. He did something stupid and his new feelings kept him from facing the boy he cared about.

"Marinette?" He called when he saw her put her hand on the doorknob, ready to leave. "What am I supposed to do to make him forgive me?"

She was taken by surprised, but smiled softly. "Do you love Marc?"

"I do." He confessed. "I love him a lot."

"Then I don't know why you're hesitating. When we fall in love with a person, the best we can do is show them how precious they're to us. And sometimes we stumble and fall halfway through, other times we can't express ourselves as well as we would like. But I want you to know it's alright. Everyone makes mistakes. What's important is that we tried and did everything we could."

"You must really like Adrien, huh?"

Her eyes opened wide. "I don't have any idea of what you're talking about." She exclaimed, stammering. "Either way, take a deep breath. You're thinking too much about this whole situation. There's certainly something only you can do to win him back."

Nathaniel watched her leave and leaned back in his chair. She was right, as always. Seconds later, he gathered all his courage and began to draw incessantly on his sketchbook. He couldn't write, but if there was something he could do it was drawing.

***

Marinette stamped her foot impatiently as she watched Nathaniel try to persuade Marc to talk to him. The latter, however, seemed extremely determined to run away, ignoring the boy who followed him through the corridors of Françoise Dupont High School with a pile of drawings in his hands, refusing to give up. She had no idea of what to do, finding herself in the position of spectator, without any right to interfere between them. For one thing, it was her fault. Or, at least, she thought it was. If she had told him who the notebook belonged to, Nathaniel would've been prepared to find him there. But assuming she did, wouldn't she have betrayed Marc, who was too insecure to notice his own talent?

They were the perfect team, even if they didn't want to admit it. Their dynamic was there. If only they put aside their differences, they could be capable of creating something incredible. Something special. Something that, on their own, they would never be able to make.

"But is that enough?" Adrien's voice startled her and Marinette stared at him, wide-eyed. How did he know what she was thinking? "You were thinking out loud." He smiled.

"O-Oh." She stammered back.

"So, I can see those two haven't made up yet."

"It's... complicated." She explained. "Marc isn't willing to be Nathaniel's friend."

"It figures." Adrien put his hands in his pockets and shook his head when he realized the girl didn't get it. "Has it ever occurred you that he might want to be more than just friends?"

"What do you mean?" She asked. Could it be possible they liked each other?

"Marc always admired Nathaniel's drawings and when he finally had the opportunity to know him, all that happened. It's painful to like someone who only sees you as a friend. Maybe he doesn't want to suffer with an unrequited love if they get closer."

"Then..." Marinette smiled excitedly. "It should be okay if they both feel the same, right?"

"What do you have in mind?" 

She grinned. "I have the perfect plan!"

***

Hours later, Nathaniel was sitting in his usual spot in the room the art club used as their own. Marinette and Adrien arranged to meet with him but almost an hour passed and none of them had shown up yet. He placed his pencils on the table and sighed nervously. He wanted to have given the drawings to Marc, however, he didn't even dare look at him. If he saw those forty-five pages of paper decorated with sketches of him, what would he say? Would he understand? Would he forgive him? Would he give him a chance of explaining himself? He was tired of seeing him talk normally with everyone else, watching as he smiled to them with that handsome face of his, when he refused to even stay in the same place as him for more than two seconds. If only he could go back in time and fix what he did...

"Nathaniel?" Marinette peeked out the door, with a smile on her face. "Sorry, I know we're late. Adrien and I had to take care of something."

"It's fine, don't worry about it." He replied and they closed the door, sitting down in front of him. "What did you want to talk about?"

"It's about Marc." Adrien clarified, calmly. "We want to help you."

"Thank you, but I don't need your help, although I could use some advice." He answered. "I was wrong and I hurt him. It wouldn't be fair to have help when he's feeling bad for what I did. I have to solve this alone."

"But it was my fault, too. I should've warned you."

"No Marinette, it wasn't. I..." He clenched his hands together. "He irritated me. When I looked at him I could see my past self and with it all my bad points. My weak and disgraceful self, who didn't have the confidence to fight back. The part of me I always tried to hide from the world at any costs. I wanted to make it disappear but I couldn't. Not when he stared at me as if he saw right through me." The two teenagers looked at him, waiting for him to continue. "And now... Now is different. I can't be near him without wanting him for myself and it scares me. I was horrible, unfair. Maybe he being mad at me is for the best."

"Nathaniel." Marinette called in a serious tone. "We all have a part of ourselves we are afraid of. A part we fear so much we reject it. It's painful to admit we're not one hundred percent good, that we have flaws and imperfections. So we hide the version of ourselves in which these bad things materialize. In my opinion, though, I don't think being strong means supressing what we think is bad until we're sure nobody sees it. Being strong means accepting all those mistakes, faults, and imperfections like our own and use them to be better people."

"I don't... I don't know how to do that." He responded, frustrated.

"You're halfway there already." Adrien said, resting his hand on his shoulder. "You admitted to yourself he irritates you because he reminds you of who you were. You made a mistake, but even if that's the case you still like him, right?"

He nodded, blushing.

"Then, the last thing left for you to do..." They said, opening the door to show an embarrassed boy. Marc. "Is tell him."

Nathaniel remained shocked for a few minutes. "Why is he here?" He asked, confused, not knowing how to react.

"Since you two weren't talking, we decided to help." Adrien explained as he scratched the back of neck. "The idea was to get you both locked in the same room. Needless to say, it didn't go as expected."

Marinette laughed, half embarrassed half disappointed in herself for not being able to fulfill her original plan. "Yeah, Marc refused to follow us without reason so we decided we would talk to you first and let him listen to the conversation."

The red-haired boy lowered and raised his head slightly to show his understanding. They had a point. Marc was insecure, he would rather be sure of what others felt about him first and act based on their response. It was his personality and Nathaniel could only accept it and hope the response he gave earlier pleased him. 

"Now, if you don't mind, we'll leave you alone." Adrien said, heading to the exit with Marinette by his side. "Please talk."

When they left the room, the boys stayed in an uncomfortable silence as if the pressure would swallow them. Marc glanced at him and bit his lip. None of them knew how to begin, let alone what to say. But Marc, in particular, was extremely anxious. He heard every single word that left Nathaniel's mouth, but he was not yet certain of the feelings he seemed to have for him. In the end, he could be simply confused. Maybe he just needed someone who could write for him so much he didn't mind the sacrifices that came with it — even if it meant lying about what he really felt. Besides, he liked Marinette. It was obvious the way he looked at her, the drawings he made where they would end up dating, the smile he had everytime people mentioned her.

How could he compete with that? And if, hypothetically speaking, he agreed on writing for him, would he be capable of writing about a world where Nathaniel would be with another person, and ignore the jealousy that would come as a consequence? Marc was not that confident in himself. He couldn't bear being around him everyday, with his heart pounding and his cheeks burning, just to watch the boy he had fallen in love with, head over heels for someone else. Because, in fact, even before they were introduced, Marc used to look at him from afar. He liked to see him doodling all over his sketchbook, as if he was in a world of his own. A world he had no place in. 

So he got used to it, accepted the reality of his situation, and he started writing about his dreams, about the day Nathaniel would notice him and his feelings would become mutual. But even those ways of deceiving himself didn't last long. After a while, it stopped being enough. He didn't want to get stuck in his imagination, to comfort himself with simple dreams. He wanted to go on dates, to hold hands, to talk about everything and anything at the same time. How good would it be if he could do all those things?

Nathaniel cleared his throat. "I'm really sorry." He started. "I shouldn't have told the things I did. I was wrong, and I truly regret it."

"You don't need to apologize." He answered with a sad expression on his face, and walked towards the door. "But even though I accept your apology, I'd rather stay away from you. I'm not your friend, and I never will be."

"Wait, what? Why?" Nathaniel rose abruptly from his chair. "I want to be your friend."

"That's exactly the problem." He broke in tears. "I don't want your friendship, Nathaniel. Don't you get it? I like you. I could never be your friend."

With those words he walked out the door, without looking back. And Nathaniel remained there, in shock, not having the strength to move a single muscle. How could he have left? He must have heard what he said to Adrien and Marinette about loving him, right? He stopped his own reasoning. He said it... didn't he? He searched his memories and almost hit himself. He told Marinette, even Adrien knew, but the most important person, the one who mattered the most, had no idea he felt that way. He ran to the table where his sketchbook was, completely filled with his sketches of him, and pressed it against his chest. He never confessed. How could he possibly know? 

Marc couldn't see the future and he certainly didn't keep any crystal ball. He made another stupid mistake. He didn't say anything and expected him to simply realize it by himself. But Marc wouldn't get it: he was too humble to notice Nathaniel was in love with him. He sighed and started running, in a rush to leave and chase after the boy, hoping to catch him. He had to tell him, tell him he was in love, that being friends was just an excuse to stay close to him. And he had to do it... before it was too late.

***

The next morning, Nathaniel woke up to the sound of his cellphone's notifications. He couldn't sleep and stayed up all night, thinking about Marc. He wasn't able to catch him, not even after searching every corner of the school. Besides, it probably wasn't his lucky day, because two hours after leaving the room where they parted, Nathaniel noticed his sketchbook, the one in which he poured his heart out, disappeared. He searched for it everywhere for two more hours, until his feet hurt so much he couldn't even walk. He didn't find it, though. His sketches were gone, and with them his opportunity to confess his love. Those drawings were the only way he had to make Marc believe his feelings were real, especially because he didn't seem willing to talk again. 

However, at least he knew it was mutual, that Marc felt the same way he did. He hated himself for not realizing it. How could he be that blind? He should've known, If he had things could've been different. Nathaniel let out a sad sign and stood up, rejecting the comfort of the flannel sheets. He couldn't change the past, but he could do his best to avoid repeating his mistakes in the future. He picked up the phone, still half asleep, and saw thousands of messages from both Marinette and Adrien. He was about to open them when Marinette called.

"Marinette?" He asked. "What's up?"

"Nathaniel!" She screamed, in panic. "You can't come to school today!"

"What are you talking about? I can't do that. I need to talk things over with Marc one last time. What if he thinks I gave up?"

"Nathaniel." Adrien's voice sounded on the other side of the line. He probably took the phone away from Marinette to talk with him. "Someone printed out your skeches of Marc. They're all over the school and people are writing mean things on it. It's not safe for you to come." He explained. 

"We're trying to dispose of everything, but it's going to take a few hours. It's too much." A voice the redheaded boy recognized as Nino's was heard in a distance, accompanied by the loud sound of papers being ripped apart.

"What about Marc? Is he alright?"

"He's in shock." Alya admitted. "And quite scared."

"Give me five minutes." Nathaniel decided. Adrien tried to convice him not to, but the call was cut off before he could finish, and the phone was thrown in the air.

At the moment, Marc was his priority. Who cared about how the others would react? He probably was going through hell, all alone. Marc hated attention, he was shy and had anxiety. He wouldn't last long. Nathaniel couldn't afford avoiding the situation when it was his fault for losing the sketchbook. It was his responsibility. 

When he arrived at school, he noticed Adrien described the situation much more lightly than what was really going on. Large groups of people surrounded the walls, covered by his drawings, laughing and taking pictures to probably post them online. When he walked by they stared at him strangely, some occasionally insulting him. He could hear the girls screaming hysterically, going on about how they wanted a gay best friend, which made him extremely uncomfortable. They were treating him as an accessory, an object. 

Suddenly, he felt someone hugging him from behind and turned his head towards the person, only to find a dark-haired boy trembling all over. Marc. Nathaniel's eyes widened. He was hiding, he realized. He was terrified. He holded his hand and pulled him to an isolated part of the school. He had to get him out of there. 

"I'm sorry." He murmured against his hair, hugging him tight. "Sorry, sorry, sorry."

Marc rubbed his head on the taller boy's shoulder. They were so close. He looked up to face him, and made a confused expression. "Why are you apologizing?"

"For everything, I guess." Nathaniel touched his hair, affectionately. "For treating you that way in the first place, for asking you to be my friend and for insisting on it. And for losing my sketchbook and exposing you to all this."

Marc looked hurt and pulled away from him. Nathaniel noticed he had misunderstood his words. However, talking wouldn't help. So he gathered all the courage he could muster, set his arms around his waist, and kissed him. It surprised him and he was slow to react, but seconds later he moved his hands into Nathaniel's hair, enjoying the sensation of their lips glued together. He kissed as well as he drew, as his kisses were as kind as the art he made. Tears ran down his cheeks. In that moment, he'd forgotten about the teenagers out there, making fun of the whole situation. It was just the two of them, trapped in each other, unable to get out of the bubble they created and return to reality.

And maybe the others would laugh. Maybe not everyone would accept their love. Maybe the person who did that would leave unpunished. But it didn't matter anymore. Because at that very minute, in that exact place, hypnotized by the shuffling of hands, kisses and tears, Nathaniel and Marc were the happiest boys in the world.

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone,   
> I hope you liked it!  
> Sorry if there are any mistakes <3


End file.
